erkkkkk..

yesterday while waiting for 5 pm to go back, i was chatting with my sister.. chatting punya chatting, she asked me when i am going back for good.. n my honest answer at that time is - ' takpelah kalo tak dapat balik lagi, bleh la i kumpul duit utk panggil ID hias rumah enstek i' . sekali u know what her answer is? she said something like this - u hv to find a job back in msia soonest as u can, mom is tense, she is not feeling well, ur daughter byk komplain , mum need to go out once in a while but now she cannot because ur daughter is there - and the rest is all the fact that support the statement she made above.. and air mata aku pon bertakung... masa tu jugak2 pikir... uwaaaaa i want to go back to malaysia now, take my daughter and bring them back to brunei.. biarlah kami susah ambik hantar skol etc drpd mendengar my own sister said like that.. arghhhh sedih n menusuk ke hati la statement adik aku tu

so i fetch little hannah at the nursery .. while driving back home, i was trying to console myself by saying this to the little girl - 'hannah, do u miss kakak ? cikna said kakak-kakak menyusahkan makwan. mummy is sad n mummy want to bring kakak here.' and again my tears running down.. malam masa dinner, i tell hubby about it.. his expression is like.. hmmm i dont know.. maybe he's thinking the same like me.. and i hope he is..

so now this is what i can think of (selepas kepala otak ni boleh berfikir secara rasional la..)

• if i were to go back to msia for good one thing for sure is I shud have a permanent job there.. going back without any job is a big NO to me..
• i give my self a time frame for at least until end of next yr to get a job in msia.. tahan je la dulu kata2 yg menyakitkan hati dan perasaan tu buat masa ni .. lagi cepat aku / hubby dpt keje kat msia lagi cepatlah kami balik...
• if we (me n hubs) dpt balik msia, both kakak2 will be staying with us, biarlah kena tukar skolah pon.. and we have to susah payah camane pon.. i dont want to hear another statement menusuk perasaan lagi..
• shud i equip myself with baking / sewing skills hahahhaha manatau tak dapat keje, amik tempahan wat kuih ke masak ke jahit ke can make money kan? sambil2 tu bolehla jadik driver amik anak2 skolah tapi dapat duit sendiri.. ecehhhh ni poyo sikit!
• when everything is settle nanti (balik msia, rumah enstek) i want to sponsor mum n dad for umrah.. let it be a cenderahati from me n hubs for taking care of the girls while we are in brunei..

ok sekian untuk hari ini.. ;(